Monday, February 15, 2010


"Captain," Coohos sternly reminded G'bone, "Part of your duty is diplomatic!" G'bone glowered at the emissaries from Prilonius IV.
"Coohos," he whispered out of the side of his mouth, "They're just puppies."
One of the Prilonians licked G'bone's hand and wagged its tail.

Friday, February 12, 2010

A Glimpse As Though Through A Keyhole

The odor of a dying sea emanates from Doh G'bone as he sulks in his captains chair. In the distance, his science officer raises her arm in a jaunty wave. G'bone waves back, then looks over his shoulder to see she was waving at someone behind him. He tries to act like he is smoothing his hair but he has no hair.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rue the Dew

"You have no class," murmured the small, reptilian-like figure standing in the ramped, hallway leading up to the Science Labs. She reached for her holster, but instead, she grabbed a pencil from her back pocket to check off an item on her ledger. "You also have no cleaning duties, consider it a blessing." Farfoudottir, the offspring of the highly decorated Admiral, and legendary war strategist, Farfoud, breathed a sigh of relief as she failed to complete any of her Starfleet readings or practicums the night prior.
The tall, gangly Betazoid immediately turned around and walked quickly down the ramp, trying to hide her glee as she narrowly escaped major embarrassment - or rather, any further demotions during the year. This behavior is not looked upon highly by her family. She is the Rose Kennedy of the Formaner Clan (Farfoud's proper, formal name was Pilabdurate Formaner, a name inherited by her daughter). Cousins, Uncles, Grandmothers all have their name etched on Starfleet Brass, contributing in not just small ways, but typically great leaps forward. She comes from a long line of highly decorated tacticians and scientists. Yet here she is, in her 3rd year of the Starfleet Academy, and barely a passing grade.
"Ms. Formaner --," a voice beckoned from the top of the ramp. Farfoudottir stopped in her tracks. "Before you scamper off, I'd like a word with you please."
She was so close to retire back to her quarters to catch up on her studies without a stern lecture. Who was she kidding? She was going to celebrate a few more hours of down-time with a good read on 23rd century Architecture. Floybins' grand movement to build down, and not up. Skutt's meticulous forms. Tleetok's breathable walls. Geniuses.
Pikasaffe, Farfoudottir's mentor and teacher, walked after her down the ramp with her small steps, and crouched gait. "Follow me."


The Assassination of Pikasaffe by the Coward J. Nutty

The Eirhess System came up into the screen of the USS Carl Sagan as Lieutenant Commander Pikasaffe shaded her eyes from its turbulent glare. "Set course for Eirhess 3" she roared over the churning engineering subsystems as the groaned in protest at the 10 G's being applied to the hard right turn. Lieutenant Pert punched in the coordinates and slammed a meaty fist on the console. The Sagan slammed into warp without regard for any particulate matter that may have laid in its path.
On the other side of the Pico Quadrant, Doh G'bone was peering over the blueprints of his vessel, the USS Lady Gaga. "What do you mean the auxiliary systems have been drained?" he gently asked Nuneloe, his science officer. She was a trill and very beautiful. He loved her in real life but as a captain of his very own vessel he had to keep duty as job one. "I can't explain it" she said. "I would almost think we're being targeted but long range sensors detect nothing."
Suddenly off the starboard deck, a ship decloaked.
"Hail that vessel," he commanded but before Handre, the engineering officer, could comply, two photon torpedos slammed into the Gaga.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeamn," yelled G'bone.
"Sir, we're being hailed" said the little blue alien science officer whose name no one could recall.
The grim visage of J. Nutty appeared before them all, 15 feet tall and sneering. "Good afternoon, Federation scum," he intoned. "You are quite helpless, I have destroyed your engines utterly."
"What do you want."
"Why, to finally gain my revenge at long last. Oh no, not on you sir," he said with disrespect because of their long, complex, and hateful history "but on your friend.. Your friend Pikasaffe."
"You leave her alone right now, J. Nutty!"
"No, I don't think I shall." And with that, the communication ceased and J. Nutty's vessel cloaked and warped off towards the Eirheis System.